School’s out, now what?

School’s are closed, local pools are open, and summer is finally here. And so are our kids. Every. Single. Day. All day. At home, in our faces, no schoolwork to keep them busy. Like many parents, my hubby and I sat down about a month ago and talked about what we should do over the summer to keep our six year old son occupied. In an effort to save money and since I’m lucky enough to be able to work from home, we decided no day cares or rec programs. We will make sure the little tyke is happy and having fun at home. We’ll do art projects! Crafts! I will find ways of keeping the boy busy so I can still get some work done. I will create a list of inexpensive activities that will last us all summer long. I can do this!! I. Am. Awesome.
Now June is here and I’m wondering what the hell I was thinking. I’ve been scouring the Internet in a panic and waking up in a cold sweat because I’ve finally realized this is all on me. There will be no teacher assigned homework. Teachers are off during the summer. Teachers don’t make house calls (wait, do they? Please tell me they do!) Keeping my son busy is my task and mine alone. I counted on my friend Google to help me find ways of keeping the boy occupied. I forgot that Google and the awesome parents of the internet do not know my child. My son is obsessed (I’m talking Glen Close, boiling bunnies, Fatal Attraction, OBSESSED) with soccer. If he is not kicking a ball he’s…well, then I’m not sure what he’s doing because he’s ALWAYS kicking a ball. So the activity suggestions I found…well, let’s take a look:
1) Plan an outdoor scavenger hunt/hide-and-seek mission! Yeah, only if I’m able to hide that damn soccer ball and buy myself some time away from kicking it.
2) Have your child write poems and read them to you! Also known as good effing luck getting my kid to pick up a pencil this summer.
3) Play board games together! The people who suggested this have never met my kid. He makes up his own damn rules and cries if he’s losing. Hell, he cries if he’s winning!
4) Make your favorite ice cold drink together! Really? Make margaritas with the 6 year old? Actually, this one might be doable. If I’m caught, spending some time napping in a jail cell might be a nice break.
5) Mail handmade cards to family and friends! Mine will be the one with HELP ME! written on the front.
6) Create art! I swear to God, I just heard my kid roll his eyes. Yes, eye-rolling makes a sound.
7) Play some game I’ve never heard of called paddle pong! This will slowly turn into chase mom around the house with the paddle until she cries.
8) Play school together because a small part of your child is surely missing his classroom. Can’t I just drop him off there? Someone has to be there, right? A janitor? Anyone? Help!
9) Tie dye t-shirts! Do people seriously still do this? In 2016? Why?!
And my personal favorite:
10) Invite your child’s friends over, give them each a shovel and have them dig for treasures in your backyard! If 10 six year old boys show up at my front door with shovels, I will find the person who suggested this activity and personally escort my son and his friends to their home. I will sit on their porch with my homemade margarita and watch the destruction.
Honestly, these are all fantastic suggestions (except for the shovel thing…WTF?) Bottom line: We all love our children. We would die for them. We love spending time with them. But thinking about a long hot summer with nothing but time on our hands is terrifying. I won’t throw away our summer to-do list yet, but I won’t sweat it either. Beautiful memories don’t come from a list. The boy won’t be six forever. What seems like a long summer now will fly by in an instant. So this summer I will take a deep breath and enjoy every single precious moment with that little man before he grows up to be a big man.
If you need to find me this summer, I’ll be the one standing in front of the soccer goal. All. Summer. Long.