An open letter to the dad who insulted my son

Dear Sir,

About a month ago, your son Bill (*not his real name*) and mine spent some time playing soccer together after school.  My son was SO excited because he rarely gets to play with Bill and this was a special treat for him. I do not know you or your son very well, but my child speaks of him often.  The kids were having a blast and I thought it was great until you turned to me and said, “Wow! I can’t believe your kid can kick a soccer ball like that! I mean, look at him! He’s the size of a fly!” Then you laughed at your own stupid joke. You were too big of a prick to notice that you were the only one laughing. Then you decided to be extra classy and add, “Eh  Well. Hopefully he’ll grow for ya, hey?” I wasn’t raised in the same barn that you apparently were raised in, so I believe I mumbled something along the lines of, “My kid is perfect the way he is, blah,blah.” Then I looked to my left and noticed my son had stopped kicking the soccer ball (which never happens so I assumed there was a state of emergency) and was listening to our entire exchange. He heard you.  He heard everything. My kid knows he’s small but it has never affected him. We have dealt with his size from the day he was born and here is what you should know:

My son was 7 pounds 1 ounce when he was born. Totally normal size for a baby, yet he looked so much smaller than the others in the nursery. He just didn’t have those pudgy baby legs and chunky baby rolls that we’re all accustomed to seeing. Clean bill of health, wasn’t born premature. Lost a bit of weight while in hospital but gained it back at home. Our first couple of doctor’s visits post hospital were fantastic. At his three month checkup, the doctor mentioned that my son wasn’t gaining as much weight as he should be. At six months, my son was perfect developmentally, doing all the things a six month old is supposed to be doing. However, his weight gain was minimal and the doctor was not pleased. We told her we have no concerns about our child developmentally and is it possible he’s just small? She told us to quote, “give him a stick of butter over the holidays because his weight is going down the toilet!” Needless to say, we never saw her again and I often wonder if her medical degree has been flushed down the toilet as well. I sure hope so.

So we switched doctors. The new doctor ran test after test after test after test. All tests came back negative but still more tests were ordered. Throughout this entire ordeal, my husband and I continuously repeated, “He’s just small!” The first two years of my child’s life, instead of enjoying my time with him, I worried myself SICK. I was so depressed I couldn’t function. I saw my child every day and thought he was perfect, but everyone I met with a white jacket and stethoscope was telling me otherwise even though they had no proof of any abnormality existing. Somewhere in my perfectly healthy little boy’s medical chart is a diagnosis of “failure to thrive.” He never failed to thrive. Ever. His doctors just failed to listen. My son was about 26 months old when I finally had enough. Enough with the tests, enough with the doctors. My son was fine and I told my husband if my son’s doctor ordered one more test I was calling bullshit and switching doctors yet again. I could hardly breathe at this checkup waiting for the verdict. The doctor looked up from his paperwork, smiled, and said, “Hey, you know what? I think the kid is just small!!!” No shit, Sherlock. Medcal degrees are clearly easy to obtain. I should have been a doctor. Luckily, my child finally now has a doctor who understands he’s.  Just.  Small.

So you see, sir, why I’m a tad sensitive about my kid’s size, even though he isn’t. Also, you are an adult. Children hear every word we say, even if they pretend not to. So your snide remarks and mocking really isn’t appropriate. My kid is perfect. So is yours for that matter. My kid may be small his entire life and that is perfectly fine. The worst that could happen is that he won’t be able to shop in the Big and Tall section like you do ( yeah, I went there.) Watch your mouth around kids and back off. Pick on someone your own size because there’s nothing more disgusting than an adult bully.

Signed, Me